Written by John Edward Betancourt
At some point in our lives, often in our youth, we were easily influenced by any idea that came our way. It makes sense, simply because we didn't have any life experiences to look back upon. With youth comes naivety and it's only when we get out into the world and get a fine taste of life do we know how to handle ourselves.
But, while many of us grow and learn and become our own person with our own understanding of how life works, some folks are forever trapped in needing advice or direction from others. They are constantly seeking out someone or something to guide them in this world and the dangers of what could happen when you get poor advice from people...or things are front and center in the season one finale of Tales from the Darkside, "The False Prophet".
Cassie Pines is searching for the meaning of life and thinks she may have found it thanks to a mysterious series of fortune telling vending machines known as Madam X. The good Madam has told Cassie that all of her dreams when it comes to love and a happy life are waiting for her in Texas, sending her on the road. But when she arrives at a bus station in the middle of the night she finds herself quickly confused thanks to the new generation of fortune telling machines, Horace X. Horace has nothing but warnings for Cassie, that her life is in danger and she needs to beware false prophets that come her way and for a time it seems that Horace is on the money when a creepy preacher arrives and instantly takes a liking to Cassie. But as the night goes on and the events of the evening become more confusing Cassie is torn, wondering exactly who is on her side and it seems...that Horace may be more than a simple automaton...he may have a mind of his own and an agenda for this lost soul.
Of all the episodes in season one of this show, this one turns out to be hands down the most bizarre. After all, we are given a sentient fortune telling machine, an annoying idiot in Cassie and one borderline rapist of a priest. None of these things really should go together and the episode remains ambiguous about what exactly Horace X is and what purpose he serves. In fact after watching this episode twice, I still find myself confused as to what themes from the genre are present here. It's really just a bunch of stuff happening that is well...weird.
However it's a watchable episode because of the fact the mystery surrounding this fortune telling machine and its intentions are fascinating, but much like "The Tear Collector" this is likely another episode that needed more time to flesh out in the writers room and suffered by heading to production so quickly. I honestly rather would have rather seen "Grandma's Last Wish" served up as the season finale since it was the stronger episode but this is by far my least favorite of season one because of its all over the place nature. But, first seasons of a show are always inconsistent and considering how many amazing episodes came out of year one, I'm definitely looking forward to year two. Until next time.
Written by Scotty
There are many people that believe that we are not alone in the universe and they might be right. With so many unexplained things that have happened on the planet and still continue to, it might be easier to agree that that there are aliens among us. You can shake your heads all you want, but how do you explain huge advancements in technology over the years, I mean when I was just a kid, there was no such thing as the internet, much less CD discs that could house more than 2MB of data. We may have stumbled upon something, some sort of technology that was either lost here, or delivered to us by some other civilization, but the true question is why did they want us to have it?
An alien spaceship arrives in Earth orbit and ejects some probes into the atmosphere to see what the planet is all about. One probe lands in the Pacific Ocean and while it is trying to take readings, it is snatched up by a Great White Shark. While sharks tend to eat anything, the shark is starting to have regrets about its last meal, but it has an effect on the large creature, turning it into an alien controlled robot. Searching the ocean for its next meal, the Roboshark head towards the only thing that is making a sound and tears apart a U.S. submarine that was tracking the space anomaly. With one ship down, the U.S. Navy jumps into action and tracks the unknown being and finds that it is making its way to the Seattle coast line.
Rick is busy making breakfast for his wife Trish and daughter Melody when he sees something come across the internet. A large shark has taken out a seaplane while landing and although he believes that the footage is faked, Trish quickly starts to believe that there might be something behind it. Being sent up to Bellevue, Seattle to report on the recent snowfall for her station, Trish sees a Navy base being set up in the open space and decides to change her assignment. Calling her boss to let him know of what she will be reporting on, Trish is cut off, but when getting a cup of coffee, she sees what the Navy is looking for as the Roboshark has made its way inland. Trying to report on the current situation, Trish finds out that a rival reporter has been blessed with the story and will be taking over all of the live feeds, but Trish has something that her competition does not, her daughter and the foresight of where the shark is headed.
The U.S. Navy has set up base at the local sewer monitoring station to keep an eye on the shark’s movements inside the pipes under the city. As Rick is the ranking person working, he is privy to all the information about what is happening and what the Navy is going to do to stop the robot menace. Keeping in contact with his wife and daughter, Rick is on the inside now and has to worry about more than his family during this time of crisis. But as Trish has located the next place where the shark will attack, her daughter has decided to come along for the ride as well. Being able to pinpoint the places where the Roboshark will surface next, Trish is able to get the exclusive footage, but when her boss will no longer take her calls, she has to depend on her daughter to get the story out to the world. Utilizing her social media account, Melody has become a blessing in disguise as she is able to get shares and retweets out to the area to notify them of the impending threat at their doorstep. But that might not be enough to save everyone as the Navy is looking to take out the Roboshark before it is able to communicate with the mothership that is circling the planet, at all means necessary.
There is nothing better than a good SyFy shark movie and this one fits the bill just perfectly. With little reference to the alien threat that is outside of the planet, they still make sure that you know the aliens are out there. The Navy is looking to take revenge on the shark for killing one of their own and at any cost, but when Melody finds out what the plan is, she is able to jump into action and make sure the world knows of Seattle’s impending doom. Even Roboshark has an opinion on the situation as it is able to communicate through Twitter and possibly make a friend that will understand what it is trying to do, but one person is not able to stop the blood thirsty Navy as they are only focused on its destruction. The power of social media is highlighted in this movie and for good reason when there is no news making it through the normal channels and you never know, during our next crisis, it may be the only way for us to truly know what is going on. Happy Viewing and Stay Scared.
Written by John Edward Betancourt
When it comes to B movies, especially ones that are tons of fun and you find yourself eager to watch them, Syfy reigns supreme. They have managed to make the B movie an event that you simply cannot miss and with every single release they bring to the small screen the names in their cast keep getting bigger, the stories sillier and last week turned out to be quite the treat on this network.
Not only did Syfy bring us the ever epic, Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No! they decided to up the ante and release another wild story filled to the brim with some pretty big names from my childhood. In fact this go round featured a reunion of the cast of Police Academy, and what a treat it was to see them back in action for Syfy's Lavalantula.
Colton West was once a big action star. He had all the choice roles, and box office hit after hit but the years have not been kind to him since. In the years following his Hollywood fame he as fallen on hard times, taking bit roles that irritate him and often finding his name in the headlines for causing trouble. But today in Los Angeles will be a different day for Colton. Volcanic eruptions are springing up all over the city and with the explosions come the stuff of nightmares. Giant spiders that can spit lava and fire are emerging from the earth and as it turns out, Colton West is the only man with the guts to fight them and the will to stop them...
So, let's get right down to it, this movie is freaking awesome for one reason...Steve Guttenberg. Yes, Mahoney himself plays Colton West in this film and he does it in such a fun fashion that from the get go you're rooting for Colton to win the day. But the wonder of seeing this vintage star doesn't end with Mister G, as I mentioned before his supporting cast is on full display with Michael Winslow doing what he does best and the film is further enhanced with a surprise cameo from Patrick Renna, who you may remember as Hamilton "Ham" Porter, a.k.a. "The Great Hambino" in The Sandlot.
But once we get past the cameos and the joy of seeing these classic stars this is one fun movie. Yes, it's ridiculous and yes it's over the top, but who cares. You get plenty of action in this flick, and really how can you go wrong with giant spiders that spit lava? Sure this motion picture may not be as big as Sharknado, in fact there's a little nod to that film in here as well, but Lavalantula stands on its own thanks to its cast and sense of fun and adventure. If you haven't seen this one, do so, it's a wonderful popcorn flick...or perhaps as Colton West would put it...nice movie!
Written by John Edward Betancourt
Getting old is simply part of life, whether we like it or not. The aches in our joints when we first wake up, or the gray hairs we find popping up on our head are merely signals that the clock is ticking and someday Father Time will catch up with us. That knowledge of our inevitable fate leaves us hoping that our family will be there to support us as our bodies age, just as we were there to support them growing up.
But alas, that is not always the case. As unfortunate as it is, some families see their aging family members as nothing more than a nuisance and are willing to place them in a retirement home to live our their days. Certainly one cannot pass judgment because we don't always understand the circumstances for people's decisions, but Tales from the Darkside decided to explore this decision...with a twist of course in the episode "Grandma's Last Wish".
Grandma Rollins has enjoyed quite the colorful life. She was a dancer in her youth, and raised a family and now as she slips into her golden years with her family and grand daughter her life has taken a scary turn. She only wants the best for them, but they are starting to view her as an insufferable burden and have begun the process of moving her to a retirement home. Grandma knows she has no choice, but rather than make a fuss, she simply makes a wish. After all she only wants her loved ones to understand the difficulty that comes with old age and as her family begins to become a little clumsier and forgetful...it turns out her wish may be coming true...
So, I was quite surprised with how visceral and sad this episode turned out to be. The show really decided to take on some heavy material and it does quick work in sucking you in by showing you in record time just how tough Grandma's life has turned out to be. Once everyone basically turns their back on her...the episode continues its downward spiral and you want to see Grandma win out and stay at home instead, which makes the twist of her wish coming true and her family aging with her to truly understand her plight all the more awesome.
I'm not quite sure exactly how we classify this episode, but I would have to lean toward the traditional man is the monster theme since hey...the Rollins clan is quick to send Grandma packing to the old folks home. But the fact is no real supernatural element is present in this episode and that's okay. Because this episode also throws in the horror classic of the bad guy gets his just desserts since the family truly does get to understand what it's like to grow old. Either way, I really liked this one. It tugged at the heart strings and had one satisfying ending. Until next time.
Written by Scotty
Trying to find a cheap new way to provide energy is nothing new, it in fact is one of the most consistent searches that governments hunt for. Trying to take care of their citizens for generations to come with little to no effort would be a dream come true, but nobody has been able to unlock the secret yet. For some reason, all of the research into cheap lasting energy costs millions upon millions of dollars to perfect and that puts countries into the poor house while trying to make it a reality. And the people that are in the private sector, trying to perfect the same thing are banking on a huge payday when they crack the code and are ready to sell it. It seems to be that nobody is on the same page here, it should be for the world and population, not for someone to make millions, maybe billions of dollars to make the world a better place.
The Russian government is on the search for clean, cheap power sources, but have no idea where they can find it. After the cold war, they buried their secret weapon along with its power source that could change the world forever. Red Mercury has enough power to keep a city lit for a year from a single drop, but their applications were much more devious when the world was on the brink of war for several decades. But a former solider has found a hiding spot that no one remembers that could possibly house the Red Mercury and is ready to remove it for a price. Agent Moira King from the CIA has joined the hunt, but being deep under cover, she is not allowed to make her true intentions known. When the Red Mercury is removed from its hiding spot, something else comes out of the hole, Kolossus, a doomsday machine that is ready to destroy the world.
Admiral Jackson is on the hunt for another Megalodon that has been swimming under the radar. Being charged with destroying this species, Jackson is willing to chase the mega sharks to the end of the earth and force them to meet their maker. However, since the last one on earth has eluded him, he has decided to let some scientists come in and assist on the hunt. Dr. Alison Gray is against the destruction of the species since they have been part of the earth’s population for a reason for thousands of years. Getting kicked out of the briefing, Dr. Gray is picked up by someone else that is concerned about the shark’s preservation, Joshua Dane. Dane has a boat and has created the device that Dr. Gray has not found the funding to that can help control the Mega Shark and keep it from populated areas. Believing his motives are sound, Dr. Gray joins Dane on the hunt, but time is a factor since the Navy is hot on its heels.
Knowing that something bad is about to happen with the release of Kolossus, Moira is in search for all of the information that she can find. Kidnapping an analyst from the station, Moira and her new friend Spencer are going to try and find a way to keep the cold war era killing machine from carrying out its final protocol. Knowing that it is powered by Red Mercury as well and the destructive properties that it houses, it is a race against time to keep the innocents out of harm’s way. When Moira finds out that her search for Kolossus is leading her in the same direction as Mega Shark, she starts to formulate a new plan of attack. When Mega Shark gets captured in a cove, Kolossus is forced into the water with the massive beast to create a distraction while the source of Red Mercury is discovered, but when the ultimate prize is found, will everyone be as sincere as they once were about their intentions?
Just another great story to add to the Mega Shark archives. Nothing in the sea can defeat the Megalodon and the human race thinks that they can take care of the trouble that it causes, but as everything in nature does, the shark is able to adapt. Although it is not looking to take over the world, the population seems to think differently and are preparing for the end of days when the new shark is discovered, but what the news is not reporting on is the giant doomsday device that has been unleashed and carries the power of a hundred nuclear warheads. With no way to defeat either one on their own, it is up to the government to come up with a plan to destroy them both and hopefully at the same time. I did not really have a favorite character in this movie which sucks since it is one of the better ones that has been put out, but with so much action and plenty of back and forth about what is best for the world, you can get lost wondering if something like this could actually happen. Happy Viewing and Stay Scared.
Written by Scotty
As times get harder for everyone, sometimes it is better to just get away for a couple of days. Even if you are not going far, getting away from your job and people can be one of the greatest mental escapes you can take. Every once in a while, it is good to take someone with you, but if you are going away with the person that has made your life difficult, you may end up needing a vacation from your vacation. Knowing how much you are willing to put up with on your time away is a good thing to know, so you are able to gauge how much time it will take until you unleash your feelings on somebody else.
Sophie has just moved to the city to live with her older sister Amber. Getting her a job at the local bar, Amber is very protective of her sibling and will do anything in her power to insure her safety, even if Sophie does not need it. After Amber causes a bar fight, her boyfriend knows it is the perfect opportunity for them to get away, but not being a rich man, he needs to take Sophie and the other bar maid Bridgette along for the trip as well for a group discount. Amber agrees and it could be good for her and Sophie to try to bond just a little bit while away from the city, especially without the daily troubles they have to handle when their parent's call.
Arriving at Red Plum Island, Jenner, Amber, Sophie and Bridgette see how small the resort really is and after talking to the owner, they start to understand why. The island has some history to it and used to be attached to an old military base that was doing all kinds of testing while it was still running. Long since being closed the former Shark Island has turned into the little resort it is today, the owner is happy to make sure that the group is well taken care of, but what he does not know is that the old military base has been opened again and there is something vicious in the water that will never die, again.
Dr. Palmer is working on a regeneration serum to give to the troops who are fighting to save the country, but something has backfired. With her tests taking place on sharks, the formula that she has developed kills the host, but reanimates it into a nonstop killing machine. As the zombie shark is swimming around the island, it is biting every other shark it come in contact with to create its own band of hunters, but with it being so contagious, the sharks can infect the people that they bite as well. Not being able to end this outbreak, Dr. Palmer tries to create a new serum that can kill off the infected, but finds out that it only works on healthy tissues and there will be no changing the zombie back. As the group run around the island and see the destruction that the sharks have caused and know that there is no way to escape it, they are joined by Sargent Max Cage who has a plan to put an end to the sharks evil deeds, but will it be able to come together before the entire island becomes infected with the undead?
Talk about putting a zombie twist on a shark attack story and striking gold. From the moment that you see the first ‘dead’ shark washed up on the beach, you start to understand how the disease works. I must admit, I fell in love with the ways the sharks are able to kill people in this movie, along with having the human’s assist them with some kills (see head blown off by grenade shark). Very inventive and some good characters that you can identify with as the attacks get worse and worse. Not knowing how they will be able to get off of the island when a storm blows in, the group is left on their own, but being at a resort has its benefits since the owner has a stockpile of goodies that may just keep everyone from dying on his watch. Stay Scared.
Written by Scotty
There are some things in life that are hard to stop and getting older is the main thing. Everyone wants to find that fountain of youth and stay young for as long as they can so they can accomplish so much more in life. But age catches up with the best of us and even though we are not ready for it to have its effect on us just yet, there is no stopping it. Even with all of the new treatments out there and everything that is in the testing phase, there is not a pill that can yet keep us or our bodies from becoming old and obsolete.
Ray wakes up on his boat and finds it has been taken out to sea without his permission. With his first mate Pablo trying to make some extra money while his buddy is drunk and unconscious, he has chartered a funeral. Interrupting the funeral in his drunken state, Ray sees that there is something in the water and it is heading towards the boat. Before he is able to get the engine started to avoid the underwater contact, he sees a half shark, half octopus trying to pull himself and his passengers off of the boat. Losing the dead body, along with one of the passengers, Ray is thrown into lockup for a manslaughter charge and even his ex-girlfriend on the force does not believe his story.
Aging baseball star Felix Rosa is back home for a short time while trying to get his swing back. Being the greatest player to make it to the majors from the Dominican Republic, he used to be the toast of the town, but now he has lost a step and his swagger and will do anything to get it back. Meeting with Dr. Reinhardt, she has a plan to combine his DNA with that of a whale, so he will require less oxygen, and a wolf, for faster reflexes. Although she thinks this is silly, Rosa decides to go through with the procedure, but the outcome leaves him less of a man and more of a beast. Becoming a Whalewolf, Rosa has to listen to Dr. Reinhardt and stay with him until he is powerful enough to make it on his own in the outside world.
Ray gets bailed out of jail by someone that he does not want to owe any money to, ever, but his friend Pablo knows the terms and it seems easier. Needing to return the heart of Sharktopus to their benefactor instead of money, the two take to the waters and try to kill the beast, but they do not know what they are in for. As Sharktopus is running rampant up and down the coastline, another report of a creature is coming from inland and the Whalewolf makes its presence known. Even though the two are not mortal enemies, they battle for what is important for their survival, food. With plenty of humans around to feast on, the two beasts go head to head and tear apart the city while doing so. Ray and his crew need to find a way to keep the collateral damage from getting too bad and kill off the threat before it is able to get any worse.
Finally, a Sharktopus movie that does not make the Sharktopus look like a wimp. Even though the CGI is very noticeable and not one thing about this movie is believable, it should not take away from my favorite SyFy character. From the first Sharktopus I had found one of the greatest beasts that I would always love, but after the last movie I was almost done with it, but after this one, I feel like there might be a shot at redemption. A drunken captain, his girlfriend, a mad scientist, and even a reality show being filmed in the background, this movie gives you every reason to believe that second chances should be given, even if they end in disaster. Stay Scared.
Written by John Edward Betancourt
Each and everyone of us have a bad habit that we would love to quit. Some of us bite our nails, some of us light up a cigarette, it truly varies from person to person but the fact of the matter is, it's something we know we should stop and we simply do not because they provide us some kind of comfort.
So our habits continue on, giving us the satisfaction we so desperately need. Sometimes we actually manage to be rid of them when we really put our minds to it, but it's the worst of the worst, the ones like smoking for example that are extremely difficult to quit and take more effort than we ever imagined, and going to the extreme to cure ourselves of a bad habit is explored in the Tales from the Darkside episode "Bigalow's Last Smoke".
Frank Bigalow loves a good cigarette, in fact that's how he likes to start his morning, with the news and a cigarette. But today things seem kind of odd. The television is out and he can't find the packs of smokes he bought the night before but Frank thinks nothing of it, at least for a few moments, until he discovers the bars that have imprisoned him within his own apartment and the face on his television screen that he can communicate with. It turns out Frank signed up for a special program to help him quit smoking and they have locked him away in a replica of his home to help him be rid of his nasty habit. But there are rules and consequences for this program and every time Frank gives in to temptation it will lead to punishment and he must decide quickly how badly he wants his life to be nicotine free...
This is another episode that features nothing of a supernatural nature, but also adds a new wrinkle to the fold this season. While the show has been focused for a few episodes on the "man is the monster" theme, it breaks into new territory this go round by providing us with one's own private and personal hell. Frank's situation is pretty meta in this episode since smoking serves up so many themes. Not only is it the reason that Frank is in this tiny and scary prison...he is a prisoner to addiction.
I have to give the show major credit for taking one grand philosophical route and kudos for doing it in the creepiest of fashion. Dr. Synapsis, the man that appears on Frank's television screen, serves as one eerie guide throughout this tale. He is cold and uncaring and set only on the goal of curing Frank and well...he is unsettling to say the least. Yet this episode works, it evokes terror and fear as you watch Frank's internal and external battle and it just goes to show how versatile the genre is and how good writing always delivers. Until next time.
Written by Scotty
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY SPOILER ALERT SYSTEM...YOU ARE ADVISED TO READ AT YOUR OWN RISK...
It is hard to imagine being away from your family when the world starts to fall apart. Not being able to know their whereabouts or situation would be the worst feeling anyone could ever have. If you have the means to communicate with them and make sure that they are ok, it will make you feel better, but once that is cut off, you are left fearing the worst has happened to them. Make a plan for when it all hits the fan, a location that you will be able to meet up at, or make a way that you can contact them just in case, because when it all comes down to it, you need your family to love and protect you during your final days.
Fet and Dutch are trolling the neighborhood, looking for any of vampire strongholds to take them out. Entering the local pool/spa, the two find that in the depths of the building the undead are hiding during the lighted hours. With a plan and some of Abraham’s silver bombs, the two are able to take out the menace with little effort and Fet is ready to continue his hunt. Dutch is full of energy when the affair is over and tosses her cloths aside and takes a dip in the pool. Fet is beside himself but joins the young beauty and gets a lesson of a lifetime…and learns to swim while doing so.
Eph and Nora have their test subjects in place and even though they have promised the couple they rescued from the storage facility that they could help, Eph comes clean and asks them to stay. Needing to find a way to infect the infected, Eph and Nora run tests against the vampire blood to see if anything will latch on and kill off the virus, but none of their ideas are working as the blood is stronger than anything they have ever encountered. When the husband patient sees his wife in pain, he begs Eph to end her days, but the former doctor is not going to let either of the couple die before he is able to run his experiments against them. Tying the husband down against his will, Eph has made his decision and humanity has gone out the door to make sure what he needs to happen will do so. As the two slowly start to transform, Nora is on the next shift and watches as the loving couple start to die together. Without giving them a choice in the manner of their demise, Nora is having second thoughts about their methods and it is starting to tear her apart mentally. But when she sees that Eph has given up on the trials, she finds something that they might have overlooked and with a successful test, the two might be able to fight the virus after all.
Eldritch Palmer is looking to stay on the city’s good side and with his new employee, there is no doubt he will stay in the city's good graces. Asking his new assistant to write a speech for him for the opening of a new food bank to feed the survivors in the Big Apple, he finds that he has hired the right person. Palmer lets out his emotions and tells his fellow survivors to not worry, they will prevail. Requiring names, addresses and most importantly, blood types from his customers, Palmer is creating a list that will tell the vampires where to hunt and while he is kissing babies and shaking hands, a hand from the past touches him once again. Abraham Setrakian has made an appearance at the food bank's launch and wants to find out some vital information that only Palmer has. Using Fet’s explosive know how, Abraham has a means of escape with what he knows as Palmer is taken to safety away from the hazardous streets.
Thomas Eichorst is ready for the Master’s plan to take effect and is looking for his own transformation as well. Cleaning out the coffin and preparing it for the next body the Master deems worthy, Eichorst is telling the former rock star Bolivar everything. Knowing that when the Master changes his body, his ruling power diminishes, he needs a leader to keep the vampires together and following the same tune as his power returns. Since Kelly has been released from the Master’s grips, she has a band of ‘feelers’ that she needs to have complete control over and when choosing the only ones that will serve her without issue, she has returned home and found some of Zach’s old clothes and sent her little minions into the night to find her son.
More is reveled about Abraham Setrakian’s past in this episode. As Professor Setrakian is teaching history in a university, he is approached by a wheel chaired man that is willing to pay for his research efforts in to finding and killing the vampire threat that has been flying under the radar for hundreds of years. Giving the Professor a lead on Sardou’s cane, a young Eldritch Palmer is ambitious about finding the infected as well. Abraham finds a cane in an old antique dealers shop and pulls another memory from his past of the man that runs it since he is an old Nazi doctor. Chasing the man, Abraham his able to recover the great artifact, but he finds out that there is a greater treasure from Palmer, a book that can tell him how to defeat the vampires once and for all. Coming back to present day, Abraham is feeling his age and knows that his mind is not what it used to be. Blowing up at himself and making a mess of his books that the group risked much more than they bargained for to retrieve, he is able to make the discovery once again that there is one final solution against the vampires, but it is housed in the very book that he was not able to acquire so many years ago.
It was good to see one of the original New York vampires come back in this episode since Bolivar has been absent for a long while now. With the fear that the new vampires will not respect the Master when he undergoes a body change, you never know if Bolivar may be a vital role in keeping the peace. Fet and Dutch have bonded, in more than one way and will be joined at the hip after what happened between them, that is nice and all, but what happens when one of them falls…it will not be good. Nora has fallen back into her old mind set and I do not like seeing characters that took a season to grow do this. She is questioning everything she does and with her friend Eph making the hard decisions she is not ready to make, there will be another blow up between the two, and of course, Eph’s drinking is really starting to become a problem. Although Zach is a major part of the story, I am getting upset with the character since he has been reverted back to a past character as well. Seeing firsthand what these creatures can do, he does not want to see them killed…he wants to see them cured. This is not one of the strongest episodes of the series by far, I have a problem with the book that Abraham tried to buy at auction coming back into play that the Ancients purchased a week ago and him not remembering this. And the characters regression leaves a bad taste in my mouth, it took them so long to get to a place where they understand what needs to be done and then they don’t want to do it? Just not a good episode for a fan of the series, but I hope they make it back with the next episode. Stay Scared.
Written by John Edward Betancourt
Our conscience is hands down one of the most important and essential parts to being a good human being, yet we all wonder what life would be like without one. We all know the things we would accomplish without worrying about whether or not we hurt someone's feelings, or if we didn't have to worry about the consequences of our actions.
Yet we also know there is a chance that having that kind of freedom can turn us into monsters and that the fallout from our decisions would no doubt eventually leave us without anything or anyone that matters. It is the buffer that essentially saves our souls, but that doesn't stop some people from trying to lead a life free of consequence and enjoy a day without "sin" if you will and the idea of being able to at last free one's self of a conscience to get whatever you want in life is central to the plot of the Tales from the Darkside episode "It All Comes Out in the Wash".
Carl Gropper has discovered something wonderful, that there is a way in this world to operate without sin. A mysterious dry cleaner named Chow Ting has figured out how to remove all the burdens we carry in the wash and Carl wants in. Chow is fine providing this soul cleansing service under the condition that Carl never return to Chow's store and never call him. Pickup and delivery will be handled by Mister Ting and Carl agrees to the terms. In fact it's the best decision he has ever made in his life. Suddenly business is booming and all of his decisions are regret free. But he isn't happy with how long Chow takes to pick up and deliver and decides a phone call is in order. Unfortunately by breaking the rules the laundry begins to pile up and despite his best efforts to keep regret at bay, Carl's sins, much like his laundry, are piling up.
This is another episode devoid of dark forces in the shadows and obvious monsters from beyond and I'm glad for that because of all of the "man is the monster" stories I've seen come out of season one of this show, this one is my hands down favorite. Why, well put your spoiler muffs on, because of the fact that Chow Ting is the smartest businessman of everyone featured in this episode. Yes, despite his promises of washing a man's sins away, none of it is true. He simply gives these ass hat businessmen a chance to be the jackalopes they truly are and make a ton of money on the side doing it.
It's a wonderful twist ending since most of the episode "treats" us to the disgusting man that Carl really is and the fact he really has been working toward any excuse to do whatever the hell he wants whenever the hell he wants and his subtle descent into madness since his conscience is slowly catching up to him is wonderful. While the back end of Season One of Tales from the Darkside has had its moments of inconsistency, it's episodes like this that remind me why the show has such a fond following after all these years. Until next time.